Parents' Evening

We feel she may be cheating

at reading and spelling.

She has failed to grasp the planets

and the laws of science,

has proven violent in games

and fakes asthma for attention.

She is showing promise with the Odyssey, 

has learned to darn starfish

and knitted a patch for the scarecrow.

She seems to enjoy measuring rain,

pretending her father is a Beatle

and insists upon your death

as the conclusion to all her stories.

- Rhian Edwards