Friday, July 15, 2005

Dua

I'm not very regular with my prayers but sometimes when I wake up for Fajr, I can hear my grandmother praying in her room. Our rooms are side by side. They have been for some time now, back from when we used to live in Karachi. I like to keep my door open so I can hear her if she calls me. Dado does the same. Quite often, she comes in in the middle of the night to check on me. They both used to do that. Mian, my grandfather, would walk in and, on finding me reading, sit down to chat. It didn't matter what time it was. It never does. As long as you are with someone you love, make sure you make the most of it.

I realise I've become very insecure about my relationships. I'm dreading going back to Pakistan now. I don't want to lose Dado. I don't want to be called up and given bad news. I don't want to come back to a house that doesn't contain the mercy of her loving presence, of her soft duas caressing me tenderly even in my sleep. I know this is childish, that everyone inevitably has to leave. But not now. Please not now.

5 Comments:

Blogger Crazed Teacher said...

it is not childish one may try his best but still cant cope with such a time, and Allahsubhanatal has His ways and you should pray to Him for He is merciful and everything happens for the best. for He can only give you strength to deal with all such hurdles.

9:55 PM  
Blogger karrvakarela said...

That's true. Thank you.

4:52 AM  
Anonymous Bness said...

yeah... may Allah give us all the patience and strength to deal with whatever comes our way. And may Allah grant your grandparents and everyone else peace and a long life, inshallah :)

10:56 AM  
Blogger karrvakarela said...

Amen!

12:11 PM  
Blogger chai said...

isn't it funny how it doesn't matter how grown up we get you still are a baby around your loved ones? in a lot of ways they are able to take away all of your problems for that little while that you have with them. hope this is easy for you. enjoy this time and make sure you always remember how you feel now

12:26 PM  

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